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a few things
A few things. Just be forewarned certain-friends-of-mine, lots of cursing here.

But first: this message may self-destruct at an unknown point in the future. i'm having one helluva time with judgment and compulsion tonight.

1) I seem to need to make lists today. lately.

2) The universe is conspiring against my ability to take my very easy and badly needed biology course. I can't get a hold of my help for picking up the kids tomorrow (my lab day) and she's not *entirely* reliable. Not that she's a bad person (she agreed to help me five times a month for god's sake), but it wouldn't surprise me if she forgot or was late. This is the first day my kids have been picked up from school by anyone but me and I am paranoid.

Also, I was just reminded today that the kids have minimum days 2-4 times a month. On Wednesdays. They get out of school at 12:55, I have to be in class at 1pm. So I'm gonna miss a lot of classes--this guy wants us to be in class. He's an idiot that way. I'm a grown up, I paid for this, the accountability is ultimately mine if I want the degree, so STFU dude.

Oh, and if I miss lab on Friday, which is the only day I can take lab, I'm apparently shit out of luck.

And I'm getting sick. And I'm helping Joseph's preschool next Thursdays because I'm (a) required to and (b) Can't do it on any other day because it's the only day said help can help me. But if I'm sick, I can't go. But I cannot FATHOM asking or expect anyone to go help his class out that day. Because I HAVE TO GO. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If I can't do it, I am required to find someone else to do it for me.

"Hi, I know you have a busy life and kids and jobs of your own, but could you please take three hours out of your day for me this thursday and help my kid's preschool out?"

Not gonna happen.

I can't even go in with a cold, they're so paranoid. What if I'm sick? TOO FUCKING BAD.

Since it's a state program (and I've dealt with at least two other state programs before), they don't trust you for shit. I live in a poor city and go to school in an even poorer city. They've dealt with too much crap to ever give anyone the benefit of the doubt. That must be earned, and certainly not by virtue of being a human being who wants to go back to school and get her degree and contribute to her family, society and this shit economy.

But, if I drop my class I'll be more available to help and will have more options for help in picking up the kids a grand total of once a month.

I don't want to drop my class. I'm enjoying it way too much. And it'll screw up my spring '11 CSU plans, unless of course (h/t Governor Schwarzenegger), the budget says they can't afford me.

3) I'm so fucking manic today I can't hardly see straight. Yes I've gotten a LOT accomplished (omg), but I'm a mess. A goddamn mess. And a bitch. On my husband's 30th birthday. Happy birthday, babe.

4) I had three sodas today. Three. Lately it's something if I have one, and today I had three. Caffeinated. Which doesn't help #3. Plus coffee.

(it IS bad! Word of Wisdom FTW!)

5) I can't calm down. I'm multitasking everything and can't leave anything alone and my thoughts are going 1000000000 mph. I took a xanax but it won't be enough. Even though it's not recommended with said xanax, I'm having a margarita tonight. I gotta calm down.

6) I felt the need to make this a list of five.

But now there's six.

So there.

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Thanks for the warning :P

I wish I was there to help out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd volunteer my mom but she's already doing the same thing for Brian and Sarah.

My MIL would do it too but she's out of state for the next month and will be in and out a few times after that too....



it's okay. i'm figuring it out.

people say "it'll work out" and i believe that it will, it's just a matter of whether it'll work out in my favor ;)

but we're getting there. gonna talk with their school about having the oldest two stay with the after-school program on minimum days.

where there's a will there's a way, yeah?

Re: :(

yeah, but sometimes the way sucks. :) I just wish I could make it easier for you.

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